From Ani to Ami
by Bria
Summary: What if Ani wrote letters to Ami that he never intended her to see? What would they say?
1. Default Chapter

From Ami to Ani 1 This page is just to comply with FF.N new chaptering spiel. My letters from Anakin to Amidala aren't technically a series, as I intend to have it that each entry should be able to stand alone (it is possible that one or two entries will be a sequel to another, but I'll state it if one is). Here's a summary of what could be:

From Ani to Ami   
Timeframe: Varies. Let's just say that Prequels through OT are possible. Please note, the letters will jump around the timeline and therefore not be in chronological order.   
Summary: What if Ani wrote letters to Ami that he never intended her to see? What would they say? These were originally posted to a round robin on the Jedi Council fanfic boards at theforce.net, but the thread has died, so I'm putting my letters up here. :)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Feedback is life! ^_^ Flames will be cheerfully ignored, because I refuse to stoop to that level. Remember, the ability to flame doesn't make you intelligent. ;)

~*~Bria   



	2. Letter 1

From Ami to Ani 1   
This story contains characters created by George Lucas and owned by Lucasfilm Ltd. No money is being earned and no infringement is intended. Please don't sue, because I'm just a poor college student and have no money. 

Distribute as you wish, with disclaimer intact, but please contact me before posting it on another web page. OK? I welcome any, and all constructive comments to me at: swbriatharen@yahoo.com :~) 

Author's note: Oh, obviously Anakin didn't write a letter on DS2 after being turned back to the lightside and before he did. Deal with it. ;) Or, think of it as a letter he composed in his head, and he leaves unsigned because he dies before the thoughts are finished. :)   


  


**From Ani to Ami: Letter 1**   
**by Bria**   
**March 6, 2001**   
**** ****

My dearest Ami, 

I have failed. If I had to pick one word to describe my life, failure would be it. I failed my mother who had all her hopes in me. I failed my Master who did everything within his power to show me the right path to take. I failed the Order I was supposedly to bring balance to. I failed myself. This is not what I wanted to become. Most of all though, I failed you, my love. 

I look at Luke right now. He is the man I could've been. The man I _should've_ been. He is such a perfect combination of the two of us Ami. Your faithfulness to the end, your dedication, your love, my affinity for the Force, my blond hair and blue eyes, my anger. And yet... he didn't give in... at this moment, I take a good, hard, internal look at myself. Where did I go wrong? Why did I stray? Strange as it may be, at this moment, here with my son, I cannot even remember what caused me to turn. It seems like a thousand lifetimes ago. I know it must have seem momentous at the time, but nothing could have been bigger, more important than the love that I felt for you. How could I have ever abandoned you? 

You and Obi-Wan were right to hide Luke and Leia from me Ami. Even when I knew about Luke, Leia was still safe. I wanted to turn that dear sweet boy into... a monster... a mockery of all that he has been taught... I wanted to turn him into _me_. Thank the Force he wasn't swayed like that. If he had been... no... I can't finish that thought. 

And dear sweet Leia. Not only to I have a son, but a daughter as well? _LEIA ORGANA_?!?!?! Few things could have surprised a Dark Lord of the Sith, but _that_ little revelation sure did. Once I realized it, my thoughts of course turned to how I could control her. Was it only 1/2 an hour ago or so that those were my exact thoughts? The things that can change so drastically in so little time! And now here I lie dying. 

I deserve this. This suffering, this agony. I know I do, I deserve it and far more. That doesn't keep me from hurting though. I suppose it is fitting though, for a former Dark Lord of the Sith to spend the last moments of his life in pain. 

I also must wonder... are you going to be on the other side? Is it even possible that you have forgiven me and still love me? Part of me screams out that your love for me was and is eternal, but another part of me says that is not possible. My sins against you and our love are far too great. I deserve pain and heartache for all time. 

Yet, as I feel my heart slowing down and take my last few breaths, I hope against hope that this is not the case. I am lost, have been lost for the last 20+ years without you. The thought of being lost without you *forever*... that is the greatest pain of all. 

I am slipping away... into the arms of my angel... 

******************   
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	3. Letter 2

From Ami to Ani 1   
This story contains characters created by George Lucas and owned by Lucasfilm Ltd. No money is being earned and no infringement is intended. Please don't sue, because I'm just a poor college student and have no money. 

Distribute as you wish, with disclaimer intact, but please contact me before posting it on another web page. OK? I welcome any, and all constructive comments to me at: swbriatharen@yahoo.com :~) 

Author's note: The letter refers in part to my Valentine's Day song-fic I Knew I Loved You. Read that too for the full effect. :) ~*~Bria   


**From Ani to Ami: Letter 2**   
**by Bria**   
**March 7, 2001**   
**** ****

Dearest Ami, 

You cannot believe how nervous I am. A Jedi should not center on his anxiety. How many times have I heard Obi-Wan say that? And yet I cannot help it. 

Who _wouldn't_ feel nervous, courting a Queen? Not only courting, but also asking for her hand in marriage? Am I crazy? Do I really have any right to such a privilege? Me a former slave marry a Queen? Some would say I'm crazy- and they would be right. I _am _crazy. Crazy for you. 

It seems sort of silly, going to a Queen's father and asking him for his daughter, his _Queen's_ hand in marriage. Yet it is an ancient Naboo tradition. And I love you Ami, so I will adhere to it. You are worth it; no matter how tongue-tied it makes me feel! 

I can only hope that your father, and yourself, of course, agree with my proposal. If you do, my heart's desire will be at last fulfilled! 

A very nervous,   
Anakin Skywalker 

******************   
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	4. Letter 3

From Ami to Ani 1 This story contains characters created by George Lucas and owned by Lucasfilm Ltd. No money is being earned and no infringement is intended. Please don't sue, because I'm just a poor college student and have no money.

Distribute as you wish, with disclaimer intact, but please contact me before posting it on another web page. OK? I welcome any, and all constructive comments to me at: swbriatharen@yahoo.com :~) 

Author's note: _You Give Love a Bad Name_ belongs to Bon Jovi, not me. I did not write the song clip. :)   


**From Ani to Ami: Letter 3**   
**by Bria**   
**March 13, 2001**   
**** ****

Amidala, 

Traitor. 

I don't know why I am writing this. It's not as if you'll ever read it. Or that if you did you'd even care. You obviously care nothing for me anymore... if you ever did at all. 

I trusted you. I have you my heart. You were my _angel_. I see clearly now though... an angel of the night... an angel of Hell. For that is what you've put me through. 

I believed in you. We were a couple. Destined to be together as husband and wife. And then you betray me... with my *master.* How _could_ you? 

You cannot possibly know the anguish that went through me when I saw the two of you together in our apartment tonight. I felt as if I'd been shot through the heart. You and Obi-Wan. I never would've thought that kind of betrayal was possible... especially not from you. You ran after me and tried to deny it, that you and Obi-Wan were just _talking_. Do you honestly think I am that stupid? I wasn't born yesterday you know. 

Sidious is right. He is only one who I cannot trust. He will not betray me and find another apprentice, as you found another lover.   
-Anakin 

P.S. I heard this song bit today as I was running away from you. It reminded me of you. For you certainly do give love a bad name. 

Shot through the heart   
And you're to blame   
You give love a bad name   
I play my part and you play your game   
You give love a bad name   
You give love a bad name 

****************** 

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	5. Letter 4

From Ami to Ani 1 This story contains characters created by George Lucas and owned by Lucasfilm Ltd. No money is being earned and no infringement is intended. Please don't sue, because I'm just a poor college student and have no money.

Distribute as you wish, with disclaimer intact, but please contact me before posting it on another web page. OK? I welcome any, and all constructive comments to me at: swbriatharen@yahoo.com :~)

Author's note: Yes, I know. Peace isn't a concept Sith believe in. That's what the Anakin inside Vader hopes for. ~*~Bria   


**From Ani to Ami: Letter 4**   
**by Bria**   
**March 19, 2001**   
**** ****

Ami-

You died today.

I thought that the Sith knew no pain, but I can see that is not true. At least it wasn't for me.

Across the great distances between us, I felt your death. It ripped my soul in two... a symbolic knife to my heart. Without you, what am I? Absolutely nothing. A machine without a soul.

I had hoped, even after I left you that you would see the error of your ways and come to me. I longed for you to join me as my Lady Vader. You never did though. You were always so damn stubborn. You insisted you were right and I was wrong.

Now do you see where your stubbornness has gotten you? Absolutely nothing. Now you are dead and I live. Never again will I ever feel joy. Without you that is impossible. I know that now.

Rest well my dear. I know I never will again. I have my duty, and I will honor it.... but I'll never be at peace.

-Vader

******************

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